Blog, Love And Relationships

Oh Sweet Revenge!

Advises ignored. Conversations neglected. Warnings shunned. But you know life is governed by the circle of Karma. You reap what you shall sow.

So here I am writing this, sitting at the cusp of revenge. A revenge- not engineered by me nor instrumented by me. But a revenge that is the cause of implosion, exactly like I had replayed in my mind several times over when that fateful day happened. I was quiet then and I am quiet now but this smirk that lights the corner of my lips is an enough indication that I am happy, gleeful rather. Cold revenge, delivered! And the best part? I didn’t even have to break a sweat.

Life is sorted and such a backtrack has happened on the events. The aggressor has now become the victim, there was a time not too long ago when my tears fueled someone’s laughter, when my pain was the basis for their joy. But now? Oh no! I am stable and in the best phases of my life and them? In pain and disharmony. To be fair, I saw this coming. As a Samaritan, I even called it out before all the ruckus happened that this was inevitable but did they listen to me? No. And so the penance must be paid in full.

Life is sweet and revenge is it’s marquee desert.

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Blog, Love And Relationships

The Last Gift

A book. They say a book tells us a story, a story that otherwise we might not be able to live. It makes us travel to a world of fantasy and desires. It does so by embracing in the enigma of it’s world and covering us with the comfort of our own little space.

But what if that very book marks the end of an era? What if that book spells the end beginning of the end. What if that books puts a stopper to all that you held dear? Does a book still light up your desire? Does it still provide wind to your dreams? Or does it get reduced to a weapon of the devil? What meaning does a book hold if it becomes the last gift? Something that is a source of joy for so many, how does one react when it’s every page reeks of pain and remorse? How does one react when every page that you flip reminds of things that could have been and are not anymore? What if every syllable reminds of the moments that could have been? A book can bring so much pain.

The last gift, consuming you with memories and wants. The last gift- of pain.

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Love And Relationships

The Trap Of Love

It is true that love is the strongest feeling out there. A feeling that entices and mesmerises, a feeling that causes are brain to release neurons like it’s stoppage time.

The Oxytocin makes us go crazy. But you know the truth? Often we promise love and don’t really mean it. Often, we promise a lifetime of togetherness but don’t really mean it. Often, we swear on each other but shake hands with Satan behind their backs.

Why has love become so trivial? Even love, like everything else, has moved from Kantianism to Utilitarianism. No longer are people treated as the end but rather are treated simply as means to satisfy personal interests. Like the shrinking social structure, morality has also become nuclear in nature. No longer do people consider multiple facets before taking a decision, the focus is now on self satisfaction. While I appreciate this change, the freedom associated with it troubles me. People now treat other people just as ladders, as temporary engagements servicing a larger goal. This trend is alarming because it is slowly changing are existing relationships to mere capitalistic exchanges of the barter system.

People now trade feelings and emotions. Physical touch and closeness has now been pushed to the periphery where its importance has been reduced to mere nothingness- an activity that holds meaning for the limited minutes it lasts for. My only worry is what happened to all the lovely moments of love and passion, what happened to everything before and the cute after? The fast paced nature of how relationships are progressing begs only a single question- Is it the trap of love?

True love is elusive and it’s beautiful. Is Cupid playing mind games? Diverting us away from the right path and into the dark by-lanes of Hades? Is everyone’s fate is of Hephaestus?

At this juncture, I wonder. Will an old-school like me find true love? Will I find someone who cares for me the way I would care for them? Will I find someone for whom my physical appearance would matter less than my heart. Someone who would value my care rather than my career. Someone who would desire my soul rather than my success. Will I ever find someone like this in this rotting world where even relationships now have an expiry date?

I will not surrender for I am a firm believer. I will keep trodding along and believing in justice of the almighty. My time will come. If you’re reading this, I will find you 🙂

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Motivation

The Temporary and The Permanent

There is an age old adage, change is constant. But the question arises, which changes one should welcome and which ones should he reject?

That is where the ever lasting fight between the temporary and the permanent comes to the fore. It is heightened by the current lifestyle the youth is leading. Fast, Reckless and Transient. But this lifestyle has an expiry date because while the temporary can entice it will never fulfill. In order to be fulfilled one must embrace the permanent. One must understand the nuances of life itself.

One must remember that the temporary heightens are ego and self-centred nature while the permanent grounds and binds us to the roots, brining us closer to the realities of life. Realities that make us a better person overall. It fulfills our core rather than pacifying our exterior. And we know for a fact that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Not people who have a strong exterior but whose core is strong and fuelled by support systems who don’t abandon at the first sight of trouble, people that promise to stay through the thick and thin irrespective of a person’s exterior. People who stay true to you even when the world calls you a liar. Why? These people are not stupid, they know you the way the world doesn’t. The know the person that made you and not as the person that the world sees you today.

The believe. They trust. But most of all they stand by you.

If you find such a person don’t let them go. Living in the temporary is like a drug. You won’t know it’s harmful till the damage is done, till your entire soul reeks of it and at that point you won’t be able to let go because then you would be addicted to it, living off of its surreal high but dying inside. Consuming whatever humanity you have left, pushing your well wishers away.

If you’re one of them, stop now. Stop because the road you are blazing across has a certain dead end. A wall that has no door.

Stop now while you can save your soul.

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Blog, Love And Relationships

Your Sun Kissed Face..

As I close my eyes, a shadow appears amidst the darkness,
A shadow with a sparkling aura and a heavenly dress.
Enrapturing my soul and captivating my mind,
That momentary experience is surreal, one of it’s kind.

I do not wish to open my eyes and face the reality,
In that shadow, I want to set myself free!
Most will not understand this feeling,
Or the peace and happiness it does bring.

I wish I could explain what I think,
Or why I push myself to the brink.
But as I focus further the shadow has wings,
As the shadow decides to fly away, it stings!

The pain is too much to handle for I know there might be no coming back,
All I wish from the almighty is to give me the strength to get back on track.
The shadow once was my strength and I wish the same once again,
To remember the good times and not get crippled with the pain!

I might sound morose and appear fallen from grace,
But how do I forget the sun kissed face?
How do I fill the gaping hole? This empty space?
How do I stop loving the sun kissed face?

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Love And Relationships

The Clarion Call

They say love is eternal. Is it? They say people are always the same. Are they? The crossroads at which life has put me today, makes me ask a question to each and everyone out there- Is love real?

To be honest, these past few days have been the worst for me. I have seen the worst of humanity coming from the closest of people, ones that I considered my heart and soul. People that have been my heartbeat have shown me their true colors but you know what makes me even more morose? The fact that I still have hope in their humanity. I still feel that they will realize the colossal mistake that their are about to commit. The very same people that I still have hope for have disrespected me, treated me like trash- the very people that I have cared for and kept their wishes above mine. Has the world become so self centered and cruel?

To be fair, I know they are are following what their heart is telling them but sometimes the heart wavers and doesn’t show you the right path. Sometimes the heart is clouded by feelings that will not do us any good. I believe in the adage of following one’s heart but should one follow the heart when a well-wisher is screaming at you that the step you are about to take will lead you to the path of sadness and destruction. Is choice such a rigid part of one’s character that one is ready to risk their well-being and embrace peril?

Now comes the question of morality and ethics, do they come so cheap? At one end you have someone who has given you their breath and sweat and always worked towards your happiness and at the other end of this grim spectrum stands a character being masked with lust, want and desire. Is lust more powerful than love? Has the battle finally been lost and love has lost? Our thoughts written in concrete? Can thoughts and emotions not be controlled? I ask you this, Lord, is the world so shallow and plastic?
Yes, I know that I have no right to question the morality or choices that one makes but should I just stand beside the person and see them jump into a pool of lava, can they not see that what they perceive as unicorns and rainbows is actually a deathtrap full of lies, deception and tears?

I still have hope, is that a weakness? I still believe that they will come around and reason the right from the wrong and take the right call but what if they don’t? This gut wrenching feeling is what kills me inside. How can sentiments and emotions be so cheap? Is it all about one’s own likes and wants. What about the synergy of this mortal world. There has to be a balance that needs to be maintained.
I know I have follies and the only weapon I have are these words and nothing more. I know those people will still call me a keyboard warrior and weak of spine but I wish they could for once step into my shoes and experience what I am living right now and only then try to reason what I am doing as right or irrational.

I know I am acting weak at this juncture by calling them out like this but is it too much too ask to consider the time gone by? Is it too much to ask to reason and deliberate as to what must be done. While I fully understand, there is no right and wrong in matters of the heart but we must reason. Not every cocoon that our heart bears should be allowed to transform into a butterfly. Who knows that cocoon might harbor demons we might not be able to handle. Is desire and want so strong that the Pandora’s box must be opened again. We all know how that ended.

Reason. Listen. There is a lot more to this life and world than a mere impulse

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