Mungaru Male

Being in Bengaluru has its own effect, right? So what does the title really mean? It’s not about what its literal meaning but the range of emotions it evokes. The morning dew, the first rain of Monsoon, the sweet smell of petrichor all bring to mind love and life.

When you need someone so much in your life that their importance becomes tantamount to the first rain which is eagerly craved by the parched Earth. The need for the first cold breeze on a hot summer day. Mungaru Male, like the first rain, the person becomes the first and most important person in your life.

Does such love actually exist? Stuff that we read about in novels or watch in movies? Can such a fairytale ever manifest into a reality? Well, it can and the circumstances are weird at best. The road is never easy, there is wait, there is longing but the wait is justified by the end just like Mungaru Male. I too have been blessed with such a life and such a partner. She is as pure as the first monsoon, cleansing and purifying all that she touches. Quenching the thirst for care and concern of everyone she touches but I know she is headed for my farm where her touch will weave magic and bear fruit, I know she is destined to wash away my shortcomings and purify me as well just like Mungaru Male.

Her presence completes me and completes my circle of life, all the seasons of this life and she is the one I want to spend all the seasons with. The raindrops falling on my tired skin reminds me of her soothing touch and her magical powers to heal not just physical problems but also fix the one that nobody else can see. That is she- my Mungaru Male!

I wish that everyone meets someone like her in their lives as well so that they too may experience the joy of the first rain, so that they too can let go and spread their winds just like a peacock does. So they too can enjoy and live a happy life. So that they too can enjoy Mungaru Male!.

Stay strong and love freely. Let it rain!

The Cost Of Love

β€œIt is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”

Andre Gide,Β Autumn Leaves

What is the cost of love? When does love become Pyrrhic victory, when does love stop ceasing to be carefree and relaxed and becomes a toll on both parties? When does the cost of love outweigh the benefits?

This question probably will never have an answer, since such is the intoxicating nature of this emotion that we never tend to see the other side of the coin, we ignore the red flags and continue on the path which would surely lead us to certain doom. But the point that bothers me the most, when does love start doubting it’s own existence, when does the cost of love become so high that love itself starts questioning it’s relevance?

The perfect relationship? Timing + communication x mutual attraction – emotional baggage = intimacy

Emotional baggage can be in several forms of commonly found emotions

What I want my learned readers to focus on is the last bit of the LHS. Emotional Baggage. This devastating rogue can disguise itself as memories and seem harmless, this can masquerade as experience but the truth is emotional baggage is never healthy and it is this parameter that pushes the cost of love beyond an acceptable number, where love itself becomes a loss making proposition.

Trust. Yes, trust is the most important aspect of one’s life. If you trust your partner and believe in them then there can be no external factor that can control the profitability of your relationship and you can convert this asset into a priceless one. Trust is that insurance policy that will always ensure that your investment viz. your feelings, efforts and emotions are safe. It will ensure that whatever you put into love gets doubled. And trust me this is no Ponzi scheme, it is the truth.

My readers know that I came out of a long term relationship and if that time has taught me one thing, it is simply trust. Now I was betrayed but does that I mean stop trusting? No! One failed stock doesn’t mark the stock market as failed. One bad instance should not force you to compare. Give your all and you shall reap the benefits, that’s a promise!

Trust is the cornerstone of every relationship

So trust your relationship, trust your partner and see your costs drop and profits increase. Your paycheque? A lifetime of peace and happiness!

But most of all, Trust yourself! Spread love and spread happiness. Let’s all be rich!

Oh Sweet Revenge!

Advises ignored. Conversations neglected. Warnings shunned. But you know life is governed by the circle of Karma. You reap what you shall sow.

So here I am writing this, sitting at the cusp of revenge. A revenge- not engineered by me nor instrumented by me. But a revenge that is the cause of implosion, exactly like I had replayed in my mind several times over when that fateful day happened. I was quiet then and I am quiet now but this smirk that lights the corner of my lips is an enough indication that I am happy, gleeful rather. Cold revenge, delivered! And the best part? I didn’t even have to break a sweat.

Life is sorted and such a backtrack has happened on the events. The aggressor has now become the victim, there was a time not too long ago when my tears fueled someone’s laughter, when my pain was the basis for their joy. But now? Oh no! I am stable and in the best phases of my life and them? In pain and disharmony. To be fair, I saw this coming. As a Samaritan, I even called it out before all the ruckus happened that this was inevitable but did they listen to me? No. And so the penance must be paid in full.

Life is sweet and revenge is it’s marquee desert.

The Last Gift

A book. They say a book tells us a story, a story that otherwise we might not be able to live. It makes us travel to a world of fantasy and desires. It does so by embracing in the enigma of it’s world and covering us with the comfort of our own little space.

But what if that very book marks the end of an era? What if that book spells the end beginning of the end. What if that books puts a stopper to all that you held dear? Does a book still light up your desire? Does it still provide wind to your dreams? Or does it get reduced to a weapon of the devil? What meaning does a book hold if it becomes the last gift? Something that is a source of joy for so many, how does one react when it’s every page reeks of pain and remorse? How does one react when every page that you flip reminds of things that could have been and are not anymore? What if every syllable reminds of the moments that could have been? A book can bring so much pain.

The last gift, consuming you with memories and wants. The last gift- of pain.

The Trap Of Love

It is true that love is the strongest feeling out there. A feeling that entices and mesmerises, a feeling that causes are brain to release neurons like it’s stoppage time.

The Oxytocin makes us go crazy. But you know the truth? Often we promise love and don’t really mean it. Often, we promise a lifetime of togetherness but don’t really mean it. Often, we swear on each other but shake hands with Satan behind their backs.

Why has love become so trivial? Even love, like everything else, has moved from Kantianism to Utilitarianism. No longer are people treated as the end but rather are treated simply as means to satisfy personal interests. Like the shrinking social structure, morality has also become nuclear in nature. No longer do people consider multiple facets before taking a decision, the focus is now on self satisfaction. While I appreciate this change, the freedom associated with it troubles me. People now treat other people just as ladders, as temporary engagements servicing a larger goal. This trend is alarming because it is slowly changing are existing relationships to mere capitalistic exchanges of the barter system.

People now trade feelings and emotions. Physical touch and closeness has now been pushed to the periphery where its importance has been reduced to mere nothingness- an activity that holds meaning for the limited minutes it lasts for. My only worry is what happened to all the lovely moments of love and passion, what happened to everything before and the cute after? The fast paced nature of how relationships are progressing begs only a single question- Is it the trap of love?

True love is elusive and it’s beautiful. Is Cupid playing mind games? Diverting us away from the right path and into the dark by-lanes of Hades? Is everyone’s fate is of Hephaestus?

At this juncture, I wonder. Will an old-school like me find true love? Will I find someone who cares for me the way I would care for them? Will I find someone for whom my physical appearance would matter less than my heart. Someone who would value my care rather than my career. Someone who would desire my soul rather than my success. Will I ever find someone like this in this rotting world where even relationships now have an expiry date?

I will not surrender for I am a firm believer. I will keep trodding along and believing in justice of the almighty. My time will come. If you’re reading this, I will find you πŸ™‚

Your Sun Kissed Face..

As I close my eyes, a shadow appears amidst the darkness,
A shadow with a sparkling aura and a heavenly dress.
Enrapturing my soul and captivating my mind,
That momentary experience is surreal, one of it’s kind.

I do not wish to open my eyes and face the reality,
In that shadow, I want to set myself free!
Most will not understand this feeling,
Or the peace and happiness it does bring.

I wish I could explain what I think,
Or why I push myself to the brink.
But as I focus further the shadow has wings,
As the shadow decides to fly away, it stings!

The pain is too much to handle for I know there might be no coming back,
All I wish from the almighty is to give me the strength to get back on track.
The shadow once was my strength and I wish the same once again,
To remember the good times and not get crippled with the pain!

I might sound morose and appear fallen from grace,
But how do I forget the sun kissed face?
How do I fill the gaping hole? This empty space?
How do I stop loving the sun kissed face?