The Meeting

Aryan walked passed her for the first time during office. Not something very special nor did he notice anything special. The usual. Well, he had work to do and got right to it. Soon he realized someone was standing close to him, he turned around to see the same face he had recognized earlier. “Hi!”, her voice was sweet and caring.
“So I guess this is your seat”,
“Yeah”. “I am Apoorva”, said the girl.
“I am Aryan, nice to meet you. Joined new I presume?”.
“Yes, joined last week”.
“Oh, I was not in office last week.”
“I know, Rashmi told me so much about you.”
“Rashmi, eh?”, flinched Aryan as he got thinking what Rashmi had told her. Rashmi could be a devil sometimes but she was a good friend and Aryan thought, how bad could it be?
“Well, see you later”
As ~~the girl~~ Apoorva said this Aryan was shot back to reality.
“See ya!”.

Strange meeting but Aryan didn’t think much. He was not the same as he had been about 4 months ago. He had changed. He has scared to forge something new. No matter whatever it was. Rashmi had been an exception but Apoorva had a lure which Aryan couldn’t ignore, something that was drawing him towards her, to get to know her more. But Aryan didn’t give it a lot of thought. As the time passed, it was time to leave office. There wasn’t a lot to think whenever Aryan reached home. As usual he opened his books and studied with whatever little energy he had but somewhere the thought of Apoorva didn’t leave him. His intuition was never wrong about such things. Of course, it was accurate- with a psychologist mother and years of bullying had made him pretty good at judging people and seeing their true intentions.

Apoorva…little did he know what that name would mean to his life in the near future. Clueless, he slept soundly like a baby. Tomorrow was going to be another long day.

You Belong

This might be a a little too much for some readers to handle but I can’t help it. This is the only medium I have.

I need you here. You belong with me. That same innocent face of yours that once oozed confidence should not be allowed to reduce into one of selfishness and driven my murky goals.

I assure you together we can achieve the greatest of heights and experience the best of things and when the time comes for us to go our separate ways, we should have a smile on our faces rather than a gut wrenching feeling wrecking one of us!

Just trust my judgement and see the results for yourself. It’s an earnest request, don’t go down this route for there is only darkness that will follow!

Listen to me one last time?

Pain

Have you experienced pain first hand? I have. It is when someone you love so dearly shears your soul into tiny fragments of unrecognisable nature.

Pain is a gut wrenching feeling that doesn’t let sleep come easy, it is that thought at the back of one’s mind pushing them to relive memories of a time gone by, forcing them into a loop of torment.

Pain is watching the perpetrator laugh and smile with someone else while they ignore and disregard you. Pain is seeing the difference in which they reply to you and others.

Pain is knowing that you can fix things and not being given a chance. Pain is the poison being thrust down your throat by the one who happens to be your everything.

Pain is a stab in the back, an arrow through the heart. Pain is seeing your Acropolis laugh at you while you perish. Pain is seeing your loved one dream about their happiness over the bedrock of your ashes.

Pain is waking up every morning with a shaking hand and aching legs. Pain is walking slower than you used too. Pain is wanting to end things and press the restart button but still being forced to witness it all.

Pain is seeing cruelty ooze from the person you held so dear, all this for their happiness and desires. Pain is seeing your castle crumble before your eyes.

Pain. What is pain?

The Broken Hourglass

What was said, how was it done?
Was it all just plastic and mere fun?
Did you choke the butterflies that once fluttered?
Is the chemistry lost, have the words been uttered?

Time forgotten, feelings lost…
Do you realise the colossal cost?
The decision you want to make…
Are you ready to give me this pain?

Is it all about what you feel?
For you, is this such a small deal?
These questions I ask you, confessions of a Sunday mass..
Under the shadow of this broken hourglass

This is not a game of dolls,
The humans are real, they do take a fall
Words hurts, actions cripple,
Is making the call just so simple?

I urge you to see reason,
Love is life not just a season
It just doesn’t go away, it doesn’t pass
Find reason from the shards of this broken hourglass

The sand spilled on the floor,
When you decided to walk out the door.
You are making your way to a deadly pass,
And I am reduced to watching you from the cracks in the broken hourglass

The pain is real, the feelings are true
How many more sins are you willing to accrue.
Love is not a joke, don’t be so crass
I am right there where you left me, lying on the broken hourglass

My skin has been pierced, my soul has been shattered,
Blood flows out of my veins as I lie bruised and battered.
How much of my mortal remains are you willing to amass?
As you leave me crying trying to piece together the broken hourglass?

A New Beginning

Sometimes I wonder what does it take to leave behind one’s comfort zone and reach out to something more enticing and lucrative.

How beneficial is branching out to in search of better opportunities? I, too, stood at such a juncture exactly a month back, leaving behind my nest and branching out to a new city driven by a better professional opportunity. What did I leave behind?

Well, for starters, I left behind my nest- My Acropolis, family. I left a comfortable job where people knew me and valued my contributions, a workplace where I could recognize faces, laugh with them and share my most personal thoughts with them. I left behind friends I would otherwise die for. Some might ask me, why?

And yes, behind this why lies the real reason for writing this article today. Why? Why did I do what I did? You see, survival and growth are what the human race was always meant to do. We’ve always been trained to do seek better pastures and survive. We always make our lives tougher by our own actions but this trait is what separates us from the other species inhabiting this planet0- we are fighters! Look at it this way, we’ve always chosen the tougher path, that’s how we’ve become successful. And yes, I left a comfortable lifestyle for a tougher one, one which throws new challenges me every day and reminds me that I am just a very small fish in a vast ocean, a prey if you may. A prey ready to be hunted and feasted upon, my dreams and aspirations mere fodder for this unrelenting world- a hell we so naively christen a paradise. But like a firefly towards its own death, we get driven to this hell every single time. The intoxicating petrichor pulls us towards it, a petrichor muddled with the stench of sweat and blood.

But is it really that grim? No! Why? For we are fighters and are meant to thrive in such an environment. We grow and progress when pushed beyond our existing capabilities. And here I am, standing on the side of a busy road, waiting for the neon light blinking across the street to either blind me or show me the way. But I know whatever be the case, I will persevere because that’s what we humans do best- Survive.

So next time you are down and out or have your back against the wall, where nothing seems possible- remember it was all predetermined. We are meant to fight and find our own path and that we shall. You will emerge victoriously and when you do, you will stare back at that very moment and laugh- Yes, that was for the better.

Chin up and be strong,. Always.

Dewdrops On The Parched Grass

How does it feel like to be taken for granted? When everyone you care about considers you a permanent fixture, when you put in more efforts than you would like to but yet the return isn’t enough?
It pains.

Throughout life, people take each other for granted. I ,for one, have been affected gravely. Every cherished relationship has taken me for granted. Be it my sibling or for that matter my beau. Things have escalated beyond tolerance in the recent times, Even going out my way for friends, putting my entire life force behind them. And what do I get it return? NOTHING and then some.

Even my beau who I though would stand by me in thick and thin has decided it’s okay for me to be thrown around. It’s okay for her to decide when it is right to feel happy and when it is legitimate to rip me apart. My word which held weight has now been reduced to a single term lost amidst the boring Terms and Conditions, useless. Even though I try my level best to survive this, convincing myself that it is a temporary state of affairs but it’s been happening for such a long time I have forgotten what it felt like otherwise.

But the rant one side, what is the purpose of this post?

Never let someone trample over your self respect, don’t take a decision or associate with someone that makes you combust within. Any relationship that makes you want to implode is trouble. Seems obvious, right? Sadly, this is one of the toughest things to do. Letting people go, choosing whom to associate with is a task driven by the heart and not the brain and thus prone to wrong decisions.

But what we must do is always maintain a barrier, a shield of sorts to prevent daggers straight to the heart. Be very careful before you bring this shield down for anyone.

But most of all, stay happy 🙂

Systematic Personality Breakdown.

Let’s just not put a face to this tale. Without a face and a name this story shall have a larger, more universal impact.

There was a boy. Bubbly, cheerful and brimming with confidence he had a dream- to be successful. Well, to be honest, he wasn’t your local heartthrob or your science class genius; he was just a regular, average guy who didn’t get a lot of attention but still managed to scrape through. He could smile because he knew he had people behind him. There were times when he was ridiculed for his looks, his crooked teeth, his eyes. Nothing was perfect. But oh the boy was confident! Unfazed by the constant barrage, he persevered.

Bad looks. Worse grades. Disappointment. He had to do something for the sake of his family, his parents. He tried hard, tried ceaselessly to please them, to be the son they wanted. But as the cogwheel of time spun, that childish confidence got lost in the cobwebs of society. He now paid attention to looks and a hundred other useless things. He was breaking inside but he didn’t have the attention span left to focus on that. The years had also dawned upon his parents and their she wasn’t the only thing changed. The boy witnessed a colossal drop in love and affection. No one cared anymore. It was just a waiting game and he felt neglected. The only time that he did indulge in small talk with parents, it aas either retaliating to a taunt his father passed or struggling with mother to make her understand that it wasn’t his fault.
But it wasalways his fault. Always.

He got gagged, disallowed to speak. Emotionally,physically and mentally it was a systematic failure. An orchestrated concert.

Now I know his parents might not have planned it but sure as well executed thee Systematic Personality Breakdown. One fight at a time!