Ashen

Let’s burn to ashes

They say one should never hold onto the past because it is bound to give us bad memories and bring to the fore things that once gave us pain. I never used to adhere to this adage but off late I have come to accept this saying more and more. Why? you might ask.

Well the situation is fairly black and white, it is no new thing for the readers of this blog that I had a breakup recently. But I had always though of her as a friend and someone I would be there for even after she brutally cheated on me. I had thought that a relation that spanned nearly a decade deserved at least a fitting end if not a dream-come-true. But boy was I wrong! The person I once was madly in love with was dead way back, the person that broke up with me was someone totally different.

My only qualm with this entire ordeal is that because of her I have lost hope in humanity itself and in the goodness of people. For me people always meant way more than any other thing in this world but her actions make me doubt the very fabric of humanity itself. But God knows how to do his own balancing act. When she went I got someone who really valued me for me and not for the things I did. And this motivates me to give this beautiful person the best version of me. The real me and show her my true form. Hence, let’s burn to ashes to rise again and be reborn as the person I was once was and always was meant to be.

What troubles me is that how could my Ex do all those things. Calling me and telling me she misses me but at the same time use words that I taught her, nicknames I used to call her, for someone else as if they never meant a single thing to her. How could she talk about adultery and the lewd things in life with the person she cheated on me with, all the while I cried my lungs out? How could she? Where is humanity? After all I did for her all I wanted was for some humanity in return but no! Today I realized something I should have realized long time back. She didn’t deserve me then and doesn’t deserve me now! And therefore, today I close a chapter of my life for good. Because the more I stay the more I’ll know and I do not fear that I’ll hate her but I fear becoming cynical about humanity at large.

So consider this an ode of sorts, a good-bye note if you may. I am done. No more nice guy.

Standard
The Phoenix Project, Transformation Journey

The Phoenix Project

Folks, it’s been a few weeks since I last posted under this category but to be honest with you, I was struggling with my own inhibitions and mental blocks that were preventing me from writing about this. But it’s been a few days since I’ve been slightly more productive than the usual and really wish to share this feeling with the readers out there that do care about this.

I have been used to the life that I was living that I forgot what kind of person I was. Motivated and determined. But it all changes today. I have decided that I will push forward and be the best version of myself irrespective of what the challenges might be. Hence, I flag off the Phoenix Project today and have decided to really extract something more from this life than currently.

In accordance with the same, I shall be posting updates apprising you of my progress and goals. This project will be a super-set of whatever I do on a day to day basis.

Hope you all will be happy reading about this and I sincerely hope can derive some motivation to make a change in your lives as well if you are stuck in a spiral.

Beast Mode On!

Standard