Distance

You know what the toughest part of loving someone is? The distance. The same distance that evokes such strong emotions and the time same time reminds you that you can’t see the recipient of those emotions.

It’s tough, you know? Pretending day in and out that things will be fine while everyday that passes is a battle. It’s excruciating because you are the anchor that needs to hold the ship in place but what do you do when your own life is Titanic? Now my sweet Mother always tells me Que Sera Sera…Whatever shall be, will be. You can’t fight that can you? But the heart wants what it wants. There is a tipping point when you know that you can’t take it anymore. The distance maims, it paralyses and all you can do is sit back and watch the show, watch the force as it pierces the fabric of life and distorts whatever fairy land you concocted as reality.

Now I don’t wish to sound pessimistic and this may not be what you can read today but the dire nature of the situation calls for such a post. It’s grim out there folks. People are dying and their lives are amounting to nothing. So I thought it would be the right time to lay this out in front of everyone who is reading this. Go out there, bridge that distance. Rekindle that lost passion, patch up that fissured relationship. Make amends, people. Seize the day and gain control of your life because you never know it might be too late.

See situations like these remind us that we are insignificant when it comes to larger scheme of things. Me and you? We don’t mean too much faced with the wrath of nature but what we are not is servants to fate. We might not be capable enough to choose our beginning but we sure as hell can choose to how we go out. Whether the light at the end of our tunnel burns amber or crimson is up to us. We might be able to choose our beginning but we can choose our ends.

We might not be capable enough to choose our beginning but we sure as hell can choose to how we go out!

So I implore each and everyone out there reading this. Tell your partner how much you love them, learn that thing you’ve been wanting to learn, have that adventure you’ve been postponing. And yes, right now we might be bounded by a lockdown, quarantine or our better judgement but please do not forget the promises we make to ourselves during this time. We ,as humans, are notorious when it comes to forgetting promises made under duress. But I demand that we not forget the ones that we make to ourselves. Let’s not fool ourselves and go back to the error of our ways. Let’s rise like the phoenix, let’s all take the new normal as a lease of a brand-new life. Let’s recreate, rebuild and make the most of the what we have.

Bridge that distance.

Sacrifices Must Be Made!

No dream is easy to achieve. It takes a lot of sweat and sacrifice to make it past the finish the line. To finish as a victor. But what is a goal that isn’t tough to achieve?

My dream demands a lot of sacrifice. A lot must be given up in order to emerge victorious. Am I prepared to give up so much? The comfort? The distractions? The easy today? But as my parents rightly say:

Enjoy now and repent later, Everyone must do their share of hardwork. It can only be delayed but not denied.

Therefore, I am ready to give it up today. I am ready to climb the mountain! But a lot of problems stand in my path chiefly being my own procrastination. I know I can achieve greatness but why can’t I execute what my mind tells me too? Why do my muscles have a mind of their own?!

But I will persevere, I will survive. One year, One chance. One Goal.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
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Let’s Begin!

A lot has happened over the past few months. I have suffered academically, gained and lost so much. I shall elaborate what all actually elapsed in my life since November in later posts. But right now all I want to say is that I have suffered enough, lamented enough and lost a lot.

The setbacks have made me procrastinate my dream for long now. However, not anymore!

Today I shall begin. I shall seize this momentous occasion and plunge into the most exciting yet uncertain phase of my life- Civil Service Preparation.

It is no hidden fact that it’s been my childhood dream to be a civil servant, a member of the Indian Administrative Services. My passion had been somewhat lost in the maze of engineering submissions and deadlines but it took a single life changing moment to bring it all back and with renewed vigour!
A little boy on the road being scolded by his mother not for demanding a toy but for ‘not demanding one’. Not demanding a toy from strangers, for not begging well enough. This incident did not just bring to ears but also reignited the fire within me, the passion which lay dormant because of the fear of uncertainty and the seemingly insurmountable task i.e Civil Services Examination.

But I don’t want to look down upon my life 10 years later and think- this could have been different, I could have happier.

Then ofcourse, there is my lovely girlfriend. She isn’t just a girlfriend but a motivator- a constant support egging me forward, pushing me to break my own limitations! They say true and selfless companionship is hard to find, if so then I am lucky.

To be honest, I do not wish to rely on prayers and God for success. I bow before the Almighty everyday but not out of fear or greed but because I do not understand his nature or force. He is a mystery, I let him remain that way.

Effort is my only God and the list my only reward.

It starts today!

jjg